Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas

Echo

Tiefling/Fighter/LN/4/Afyola Elas (Which is a fake name, though it'll be her in game one. Her birth name would be Hadley Read)
No special faction perks or background features.
The character has a constant, consistent struggle with a desire to do good and her fiendish heritage that has her lean towards a more selfish bend. It's a constant, almost physical struggle to keep her instinct in check with a sort of constantly-forced-on desire to do good things, even if the reason for her good actions is in part driven by selfishness - something that keeps her from ever truly being the good person that she wants to be. She knows it's easier to succeed socially, in society, if you act along with the law, and, if not genuinely, at least -pretend- to care for most people - thus giving you the support of the masses.
I consulted StrayCat before drafting this application, because I wanted to make a character that the server wasn't already flooded with. To that end, she's a Hoarite - kind of 'no second chances' worshiper who is going to act somewhat more harsh than contemporaries.
Dinoo is my only login name.
As said above, she's a Hoarite, and a Tiefling. She originates from Luskan, and swore herself in to a group of travelling Doombringers after they proselytized that under Hoar, she could find revenge for the being that caused her fiend-blood to manifest. To touch on this, I'm working under the assumption that the alternate planar origins for planetouched characters are okay - Citing one of the old 2nd edition books, tieflings, aasimar, etc, can come about not only from direct familial relation, but also things like pacts with outer-planar creatures, exposure to planes, etc. In her case, it's because of a fiendish pact that one of her family made in the past. If this doesn't work, it can be altered to just be a familial tie, as it doesn't have that much impact on the overall goal. She'd likely do this by consulting mages, researching fiends, and doing a lot of stuff that could perhaps tempt her to fall fully to evil in pursuit of revenge, subject to how mean the DMs want to be to me with it.
Appearance wise, she's only going to have two horns, on her head. No strange skin tone, no tail, nothing like that. Small curved ones that can easily be hidden inside a helmet, which is what she's going to be doing. She's somewhat insecure about making people afraid with her fiendish visage, as that'd ruin the person that she's trying to put on, and will always, unless it's unavoidable, conceal her fiendish heritage whilst in public - to avoid causing a panic, or dark rumors spreading around about her, as those'd be extremely inconvenient for anything she's trying to achieve.
Her true, somewhat-selfish nature would easily come through in quieter moments, when the scrutiny isn't on her as sharply. She's got a low tolerance for people that might get in the path of revenge, and is always seeking ways to better prove herself in the eyes of Hoar.

[9:46 AM]Dinoo: edited it pretty significantly.
[9:47 AM]Dinoo: backstory's the same, alignment is now LN, class is now fighter, the concealment aspect is still intact, and the personality is pretty significantly different
[9:47 AM]Dinoo: hope this is good enough, im gonna head to bed.

Echo

This IMO is a much better app than the original.

Jay

For sure. Makes alot more sense

Zool

So, where's the bit about what they will do in game?

(The only bit I ever read, normally, because I skim everything else. I've skimmed this with varying levels of intensity several times, and if I do it again, I'm in danger of reading the whole thing. I see no reference to anything they'll actually -do- is there any?)

Echo

@zool

tbh, the application format doesnt ask for goals specifically, so guess we need to change it?

found in in #3

under Hoar, she could find revenge for the being that caused her fiend-blood to manifest

the answer I think was mostly in #5

consulting mages, researching fiends, and doing a lot of stuff that could perhaps tempt her to fall fully to evil in pursuit of revenge

Echo

Not saying the app doesnt need more, just saying we dont really ask for much either, which we should.

Puffy

I agree with Zool that there is no clear writing on how they will create fun via actions/story. Which is what the request is about

Zool

I didn't say anything about goals.

Where does it say what they'll do to make the server more fun, through actions/story.

It's a background.

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

under Hoar, she could find revenge for the being that caused her fiend-blood to manifest

This is a goal. Cool... what you gonna do though?

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

consulting mages, researching fiends, and doing a lot of stuff that could perhaps tempt her to fall fully to evil in pursuit of revenge

Ok, so this is the entire "meat" of the app then.

So, they will talk to other characters (mages) and... send a letter to the Library about fiends? (and get an answer saying "why don't you go do something to find out")

I don't know what "a lot of stuff" is, that would potentially make her fall fully to evil in persuit of revenge. Sounds like this part could be interesting if there was any thought put into it at all.

Like, are they gonna set up situations that cause other fiend blooded PC's (should they exist) to end up being wounded, so they can gather up their blood to study it? Advance this to attacking them? take body parts? I dunno, because "a lot of stuff" doesn't mean anything.

Are they going to go out seeking areas that have links to the lower planes? Will they try to gather up illegal artifacts related to them? Will they attack and steal these from others who've managed to get hold of them? Will they try to bribe them? will they look into past characters histories, and get a diviner to learn more of this by travelling to key sites and performing divination rituals? Will these rituals have components that they have to do something that'll make other characters interested in their story in order to obtain them? or will they grind one quest a few times then decide the three random junk items they got is good enough, then demand DM's run them a portal to (insert plane of choice here) for them?

I dunno, cos they haven't said anything.

The character background and such is nice and flowery.

I don't give a shit though.

What is having this character playing on the server going to do, in game, to make it more fun for other players?
Make me give a shit.

(Just to note, I'm not asking for them to specifically lay out an exact set of things they are going to do. I just want some examples of actions they might take in game to progress their story. These actions should be things that make other characters take notice, or directly affect them)

Echo

6:45 AM]Echo: there are some questions about what you will do to involve other characters in your story ... like what is your goal and what will you do to achieve it?
[6:49 AM]Dinoo: So her end-goal is to get revenge on the fiend that has ties to her family. This doesn't just mean killing it, but some kind of poetic justice that's in-line with hoar would work the best - Like imprisoning it somewhere holy, or cursing it so that it can't do anything evil, or something like that. The actual method, I'll figure out IC

As for how that'd involve other players - I think it should be easy to see, no? She'd need help in many stages of this. Particularly from people who're magically-inclined. For characters that don't want to help her get revenge, and maybe want to help her to see things from their side [if evil], there's plenty of opportunity for RP there.

Other than that, perhaps the hoarite church will set her some kind of goal, like a holy mission or something, to prove her worth - and she'd need people to come along with her for that purpose. Though she's a loner, personality-wise, she's not stupid, and not above asking for help when she needs it.
[6:50 AM]Dinoo: I'd like to have the rest of it develop organically, so these are really just rough outlines. Let me know if you want more detail though - it's a little difficult to look to a future perspective without having played much, tho!
[6:50 AM]Echo: Hoar doesnt have a temple/NPC representation in Arabel currently, but that can always change based on player actions (this is how the shrine of talona got established, for example)
[6:51 AM]Dinoo: Yeah, that's why I picked Hoar.
[6:51 AM]Echo: 👍
[6:51 AM]Dinoo: I wanted to help establish the church as a physical presence. She can act as - when she gains status as a divine champion of Him - a player representative of the doombringers.
[6:52 AM]Dinoo: Which, other than her like, global goals, means she can help with whatever kind of justice/revenge someone might need the hoarite church for.

Prof. Misclick

Zool has good points. No from me. There is something about this player that already has me on edge.

Rather he played a non application and see what happens first.

Zool

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

As for how that'd involve other players - I think it should be easy to see, no?

No.

That's why we ask. There's two bajillion things you could do, that's the beauty of the game.

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

She'd need help in many stages of this.

So, what are some of the stages?

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

Other than that, perhaps the hoarite church will set her some kind of goal

This is relying on DMs to give you stuff, not how you'll involve other characters.

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

like a holy mission or something, to prove her worth - and she'd need people to come along with her for that purpose.

Why don't you make up a holy mission, and tell us what it involves, so we can see if your idea sounds like it might make other players interested/have fun with it?

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

I'd like to have the rest of it develop organically, so these are really just rough outlines.

Yep, that's fine - but these aren't even outlines, these are vague half thoughts

@echo said in Dinoo/Tiefling / Afyola Elas:

it's a little difficult to look to a future perspective without having played much, tho!

You... don't need to have played much to have ideas of things you'd do to create a fun story using in game actions. (well, you might, to have the experience of role playing servers, but if you don't have any, probly best to play a none app character and see how others do it first)

Echo

Any further input or changes in votes?

SpiffyMeister

Swapping my vote to no.

I want to see them play a PC before I give them a subrace.

Echo

Someone else can inform him. I'm not in the mood to deal with him today :)

Puffy

Puffy — Today at 17:22
Hey, afraid your subrace app didn't pass.
I recommend playing a non-app PC for a while to get a general sense of the server first, it will help you gain a greater understanding of the setting
Dinoo — Today at 17:26
Yeah, I -did- play for a while, but I couldn't get into it. Is there any specific reason the app was denied?

Echo

[10:33 AM]Dinoo: so i just got told it was denied, yet again. is there any actual feedback, or...?
[10:33 AM]Dinoo: i wasn't given any.
[10:39 AM]Echo: I'm at work right now. Ask whoever informed you please. Or I'll respond when I get home in about 6 hrs
[10:39 AM]Dinoo: Yeah, I did ask, but... Yeah, no reply 😐

Zool

I sent them a shit load of feedback which is basically a reworded version of what I said in this thread.

Jay

I don't know if I am reading into it too much but generally get a bit of passive aggression from this guy, best to see if he sticks around and plays well with others before allowing an app character.