Apologies, and thank you for a great server.
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First off, as many of you know I can have a bit of a frustration temper when I get killed by something outside of my control, such as server lag or repeated critical hits in a row, however, I also tend to be pretty understanding of deaths that were of my own stupid fault or were from improper tactics. Some of you know me for rants and raves I make due to not having as much time as other players to get what they are able to get in three days time and others know me for flipping out for things that I claimed were not fair. For the most part I personally believe, this could be up to interpretation from others, that I have grown quite a bit on this server since I first started and that my negatives have gotten far better, however, I have fallen into some of my old way's recently in worrying too much about levels and goals and silly things like that. I have made a couple negative rants in frustration recently that I did not really mean and for that I want to say I'm sorry to the server, both the people who play and the DM's who run it. For all the negative things people say, this server has one thing going for it that no other game I have ever played has; even though most of us have never meet, everyone feels like they belong. I feel almost like I know Verk, or Seter or CB or Youfired or any of the people I play with on a regular basis both friend and foe personally as well as through their characters my PC meets and that is something in itself. I took some time out and realized that my frustration at constantly dying was taking its toll on me, not because I was unable to meet goals but because I was unable to get a concept going whose story and interactions were the most important factor to me. I haven't been able to grasp a concept like my past ones where I am able to build a story instead of just a character and as some of you know, I've burned through three in as many months with little to show for it. This is not the fault of the PC's or the DM's but my own inability to get behind a story. I figured, especially with a couple other individuals saying bad things about the server and how that made me feel, that I needed to air out my feelings about everything, swallow my pride and just stop bitching about a good thing, which is the reason behind this post. I'm might hop in game with an alt or two just for something to do, however, I'm going to wait to get behind a serious concept until I can actually feel that character's personality. If anyone has a concept that they need people for, I'll gladly try to write something for it, I need a break from trying to push my own goals and just want to play and RP with my friends of CoA; the only server I have actually felt like a PART of instead of just a player in. I admit that some of the stresses of being where I am right now in RL might have shined through a bit but I should not have taking it out on anything else, and though I'm glad I never actually took it out on a player or DM, I did let my emotions influence my view of a few server traits. Again I am sorry for my frustration recently and thank all of you for a great server.
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I have never had a lot of in-depth interactions with your characters, but even the surface interactions I have had were interesting. Your characters have a lot of life and personality beyond their goals. That, to me, is just as important. It goes a long way to making me, as a player, want to interact with them. I feel like it could also go a long way to making you want to play them and have fun playing them. I look forward to your return once you get your head right.
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Holy monumental block of text batman!
Shit happens, if you like a character, losing feels more frustrating, I like this server because of that. If there were no risks there would be no thrill.
After a while of playing I eventually came to the conclusion that somethings are just beyond our control and shit will happen, it will be frustrating, and the best we can do is look on the bright side, learn from it if possible and keep trying.
I'd say coa teaches us patience irl too but that may just be me personally.
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Paragraphs are overated.
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It's also irrelevant because he's back already.
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you know.. he never actually said he was going….
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I just kinda got angry, said some things to some people (they know who they are) and disappeared for a bit. After talking to them, however, they never really thought ill of me, they just knew I would be back because "CoA is worse than crack in terms of addiction" one of them said. Things are going better now than they did before and I have a concept, a team, and a new story to follow and it seems all it took was coming back with a cool head and not giving up on the server. :D
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If people got banned for ragequitting, we'd have an empty server. However, Ragequitting has never done the server and your collegue players any favours.
Try hard not to get angry. When you do feel angry, step away from the keyboard. Take a break; overnight if possible. Tomorrow will seem shinier and you will not have upset your friends/enemies.