Funny Character Deaths
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So, as suggested by a certain someone, I decided it may be fun to create a topic where people could record notable deaths on their CoA characters, just for laughs. Macabre, but funny.
I'll start it off:
1. Got owned after an elf shot a glowing blue ogre. Trampled by horses lit on fire and half-fiends.
2. Got my ass handed back to me by a Hoggetsfiend. In my defense, I adamantly maintain I could've survived if the wand just kicked in, instead of lagging out.
3. Opened a door, got stomped on by a horde of ogres. And a berserker.
4. Glowing blue ogre appears again! And foils my brilliant plan by instant-killing me with a cloudkill spell. Did I mention that half of our party died here?
5. Quest finished, but on the way, two friendly stone giants asked for directions. I was stepped on.
6. Beaten to death by a Stark Wyvern. The irony here is sickening.All of this, in one day.
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Ok, so…. let's see.
There was a day Sian died a lot, but not as many times as Ethspiir there. It was the second death that was totally loltastic, but to set the scene I best mention the first one. Sian and another character were exploring the Haunted Halls and happened upon the entrance to the lich king's tomb. The place was filled with skeleton warriors with greataxes which I was handily dispatching, and then the whole area repopulated. Literally steps away from the exit, facing our last sketelon, I hit divine shield... nothing... hit it again... still nothing. It's then I work out that the GUI is glitched and while I still seem to have turn undead uses left, I don't. A large crit follows, but Sian's still hanging on, by a razors edge. I then go for lay on hands to heal her back up.. and it lags with her hitting the floor before I get a chance to heal her. The character I was with also hit the fugue, which resulted in my respawning with the hope that I could use the lay on hands instead to kill the skeleton rather than heal myself. Which I managed by the slimest of margins.
Now for the comedy death that followed. Merin suggests going for a walk to cheer Sian up, so we both trot off to the King's Forest. There's a group of bugbears and a brown bear waiting for us. Nothing Sian can't handle, and Merin summons an air elemental to help. The bugbears are killed with little trouble, and the bear who was at first ignoring the fight, joins the fray. The air elemental then, having held the knockdown pulse attack for the entirety of the battle, decides that that would be the best time to unleash it. Sian falls to the floor, the bear doesn't. The bear then crits her to pieces, and she's bleeding out on the forest floor. Merin rushes in to try to help, ends up getting hit to 0 hps in one swipe, which then allows the bear to cleave on to Sian putting her into the fugue. Many bear jokes were told that day, both in irc and in tells, but I have to admit it was funny.
There was another time, on one of HarryMcScary's quests, when there was a half-fiend warrior. Sian strides into battle confidently, proclaiming that Sune will protect her with her love - only the first and only attack the half-fiend makes on Sian was a crit she had no way of avoiding, and put her straight into the fugue from full health.
"My Lady, shield me with your - ack!"
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Any time my characters charged in.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! dies"
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Running from a quest boss, managing to get through a transition fine, but somehow still getting hit by said boss after I'd transitioned and they were still on the other side by a long margin. I died by being fugued through a transition. My party couldn't find my corpse, and the "respawn at corpse" option brought me back to the tymoran shrine, with all of my gear still equipped and in my inventory.
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Not quite a death, but early in Velus career, doing the Druid lowbie quest, a stealthed crag cat spotted him and snuck over to leap out and claw at him as I hit Animal Empathy it.
This leaving him in the lovely state of bleeding to death in stealth mode, while the crag cat that mutilated him boldly guarded his dying body from a nearby cougar.
(He ended up stabilizing at -8 or so, then I had to hold out hope I'd get back up before empathy wore off)
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This happened just 30 seconds ago.
8. Rock smashed, and stomped on, by a frost giant. In that order. There were two, by the way. The coffee was delicious, though.
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When I was playing Kitara and was almost to level 6, I came across a crag cat on my own and thought "easy meat, why not??". I proceeded to get tanned by it, not landing a single blow and eventually being fugued and needing to be rescued by a friend. :(
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Did Notebook Quest. Standing next to my whole party of 8, except Olouth, who went wandering somewhere. He triggered a backspawn and 6 Yaun-Ti warriors spawned in such a way that they boxed me in between them. I was dead in 1/3rd of a round.
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Nothing ICly funny about this one but I found it hilarious.
After several deaths (three infact) on Myron's with a noob I proceeded to the Lady's challenge with my new awesomesauce level 2 character who used to be level five, almost six. I have toys and gadgets and consumables galore, only to encounter that horrible demon thing that regenerates in the first room. The one thing I had no hope of hurting enough to kill proceeds to own me twice. Finally, back at beautiful level one I manage to respawn and avoid it long enough to grab an ivisibilty potion, snag my stuff (yay) and get the hell out of there thinking "Level one with all this nice loot, I'm in the money here!" celebrating my disgustingly bad luck with some optimism about my characters coinpurse which will soon be bursting with lowbie quest gold.
Ofcourse, inches away from the portal which will transport me to glory, the server crashes…Re-enter Talan Silversoul, level one and absolutely no inventory whatsoever, not even vagabond rags!
I found this incredibly amusing. -
An aftermath of a death which to me was awesome.
Dredo tried taking on a few Frostgiants, got lag ported to a cuddly little Polar Bear and killed. But! That's not the best part. He used level 5 summon, with the Demonic Theme, which followed him to the Fugue, and went hostile. There, the apparently enraged Demonic summon killed Dredo twelve times before it went back home.
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My two most notable (and lol) deaths came about from duels.
The first was my Bhaliir retainer, who after a long running fued with a former DeSchurr retainer (I killed his friend, he had killed mine etc etc) he finaly called me out. Being a level 10 fighter with some pretty uber loot, I didn't think this level 11 bard (this was back when people thought Bards were just lolshit) with a double axe would stand much of a chance so I was confident OOCly, and bigged myself up as much as I could ICly. It started with a fear spell, and I got wtfpwnt before I even had a chance to get my axe out.
The second was a duel between mine and another Red Wizard. Not really prepared going in to it (ie, I hadn't sorted out my quickslots), I ended up running around like a headless chicken trying to find at least 1 offensive spell, while he let fly and killed me with Magic Missiles (we were both level 7).
Not really notable, but I fell to a group of duergar at level 8 in some caves somewhere. It was my first day on the job as a retainer for Bhaliir, and I feared the ramifications if I turned back up at the estate naked, pleading for another set of armour. So naked I ventured back, died, rinsed and repeated until some guy who had been by the Chauntea temple all this time finally took pity on me, and lent me a potion of invisibility. I'd gone from level 8 to 2 in the space of 15 minutes or so, but at least I got my house armour back! (later did I find there were several spare sets laying about the estate, anyway)
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Every one of Amber's deaths is pretty damn funny…
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:(
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I once cast ghoul touch on a dire wolf which didnt approve, and in return crit hit me all the way to the fugue. It made me laugh and pretty much decide that I should stop playing arcane spellcasters
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9. Eyeballs. The wand activated simultaneously as the eyeball hit me with a ray. Eyeball 7: Wand 6. I bled out, until I woke up staring into a clockwork construct fresh out of a nightmare.
10 & 11. Dire bats. 5 of them. AC 29 vs. AB of 1 - the latter emerged the victorious.
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I had one of my mages (I think it was Alaethe) killed by their own pixie familiar once.
I had possessed it to have it pick a lock, and for some reason, it went hostile when I jumped back to my body. :shock:
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Instances of Gurm dying in laughable ways are just too numerous to count, most of them being of the "ocraps!" category.
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Oh, Morn Darkwood, DeSchurran barbarian off leading a trek back in the day to scout these weird new desert shadow people.
We get jumped by a dire tiger, and I kill it.
A second one comes racing around the corner, having detected us from the above cliff, and while a death (or two) happens in the party, I still killed it with some hp left.Being level 6 at the time, I figure this accomplishment is pretty solid, and Morn lets out an IC "that the best you got?' type statement, which is almost immediately answered by a third tiger popping out of stealth and critting him.
(Though some shadovar came along and TRed us poor bastards, nicely)
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When Parasitic Nematode DM killed me, for the reason that it forced me to have to reorganize my whole inventory and quickslots. And I hade a huge inventory, with all quickslots full. >_>
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first time I ever saw a Goblin chieftan spawn, I thought it was DM spice. So my brave Tempian charged them sword drawn…
And got held, and magic missiled to death :(
