Letter: Lady Naomi of House Axehand

[A Former User]

Esteemed Lady Naomi of House Axehand,

While it is likely beneath your notice, you perhaps might have heard that I am the secretary of our beloved Captain Farmerson. I have been trying to aid him with some of the more delicate matters that are beyond his capabilities. We are both just commoners after all, and my background is unimportant. However, given the services that he has rendered to the Crown and House Axehand, I hope I might be able to turn to you with my worries, as a loyal subject.

I strongly suspect the supposed „Tyrran“ priestess, by the name of „Jasda Mirai al Tyr“, to be colluding with the were-rat monsters that seek to destroy this city and the Crown. Furthermore, I believe that she has been tasked to 1) remove Captain Farmerson, and by extension myself, from a position where we might otherwise be of continued use to the Crown and House Axehand. She has even revealed to me some of her plans in writing. In addition, she has been trying to instigate me in her rebellious plans to harm our nobility, by including me in this "we", as detailed in her statement recorded below. I apologize for any appearances that I might have been going along with such thoughts. Alas, it was necessary to understand what she has been planning:

I intend that by pursuing 'Captain' Farmerson, I - we - can reveal the culpability of House Axehand in this unamusing jest and place them before the Queen just as the former Dame was placed and seeking much the same result. It irritates me that instead of teaching this man better or even teaching him to read, they dressed him in rusted armor that smells like a privy and sent him out as a mockery. But more unfair, the heaviest mockery is placed on Officer Farmerson, who is too ignorant to realize what they are doing to him. That is a specific and terrible sort of viciousness that does not belong in the Crown Guard or in any civil society. It happens anyway, but it is callous. I do care, Officer Brown, a great deal. And that is why I have been making my eyes bleed trying to absorb all of this information as quickly as possible and cramping my hand. It will not last forever, but it is important to me those responsible for this are held accountable.

I strongly suspect that she is presently using certain files concerning his obvious mis-behaviors (I believe few would disagree on him being somewhat of a "clown") to blackmail him, in order to gain greater standing in the Crown Guard.

I further attest that she has been blackmailing me in just such a manner. At first, she appears to have presented some fabricated treason charges against me to Sir Everduke, with the hidden intent that any kind of "harm" to her person would be blamed on me (we all know how easy such "harm" is to fabricate, in particular when dealing with commoners)

You have two options. The first option would be to be prosecuted for treason. While you might argue that you stopped the practice recently, it is clear to me that you had amicable relations with the were-rats that you did not report and that you joined the guard, therefore, under pretenses.

The second option would be to confess this crime and provide helpful evidence leading to or assisting in their capture. I do not believe this country has the equivalent of 'Turning Queen's Evidence' but as I am the one prosecuting this case, I will consider a reduced sentence.

I have appraised Sir Everduke of the situation, and should harm come to me, it will be fairly obvious where that harm came from.

Now, she is blackmailing me again, by offering me coin for my resignation by the end of the tenday. She furthermore refuses to even specify the nature of said charge. The phrasing appears to suggest that this might merely be a minor fine. However, I know her to be a vicious snake in twisting legal matters. Most likely, she is aiming to try to find some kind of legal loophole that might be abused to "legally" murder me, just so that she might remove me from my current position as the secretary to Captain Farmerson. I must admit that this attack upon my loyalty infuriates me.

As to that, I have brought my concerns and my evidence to Count Immerdusk. After discussing your position and behavior at length, he has mitigated several of my charges, but not all. I am not alone in my concerns about your history, your behavior, or your recent suggestions.

We have decided to offer you the opportunity to retire from the Crown Guard with a small pension and in honor. If you choose not to retire, he has granted me the authority to handle the remaining charges on my personal authority and to mete justice as I see fit.

I will expect to see your resignation on my desk by the end of the tenday.

Beyond this, I might add various pieces of evidence suggesting that she is, in fact, pursuing amicable relations with these were-rats. I believe that she has met them in human form and talked with them amicably, and perhaps she would even admit such if confronted with it directly. However, such a question would need to come from someone with actual authority. I.e., someone who is rightfully above both of our stations. They have further started calling her to come to their secret meetings in the sewers by calling her the "church lady". Lastly, she has been sabotaging entirely reasonable efforts of my own to finally cull and address the current were-rat problem. However, as this idea (involving the cooking and creative spicing of some rats to catch their masters) has been presented by myself rather than her, this would threaten her own glory, which she intends to reap. Worse, supporting my plans would bring further glory to House Axehand. It seems that she just cannot allow that to happen.

For now, I have rejected her most recent attempts of blackmail against me, and I am still in the position as secretary to the Captain Farmerson, to which I was assigned.

However, I believe she is after my very life, and that she will simply stop short of nothing, no matter how vile, to accomplish her dark machinations. I would therefore like to humbly request your advice and.. if your might see fit to grant it, perhaps also your support in this matter. Naturally, I cannot divine your intentions, or if my fate even matters to you. However, I am desparate, and I would greatly appreciate your help.

In the event that you might see fit to do so, would it be within your power to perhaps drop a word or two on my behalf in your correspondence with Count Immerdusk? I am horrified to imagine what this nobility-hating woman might be capable of if her personal authority were to expand. At the very least, I believe it should be noted that her personal enmity towards me and my loyal attitude towards our noble betters in general, is clouding her judgment in this case.

Your humble servant,

[A Former User]

[After no immediate response is forthcoming, a short follow-up note is sent a little while later]

Esteemed Lady Naomi of House Axehand,

I may have presumed too much. Upon re-reading my words, I can see that the evidence is likely simply insufficient at this point. Perhaps, rather treat this as something to act upon in the event of my untimely demise through the executioner's axe. It will certainly be more likely to help you then. What matters is that people learn what kind of woman that Tyrran truly is.

But of course, that is up to you. At least you have been appraised of the situation.

Yours,
-Elsa Brown

[SpiffyMeister]

Gonna be honest-

I ain’t reading all this.

Rather listen to Daleroy rant all day.

Naomi