Etiquette



  • Been noticing this quite a bit lately, and I suppose it strikes a chord with me somehow. Not sure where or how or why, but I figured I ought to make a post about it.

    It seems like several of the forum discussions have been deteriorating into a bickering competition, and it usually happens in a fairly predictable pattern or series of patterns.

    1. Someone has an idea, be it a "good" or "bad" idea. Person posts said idea in General Discussion or Suggestions.
    2. Person receives moderate responses at first with well-balanced comments and constructive criticism.
    3a. Person suddenly receives a horrendous lashing from Player X who thinks the idea is utter trash and accentuates their posts with numerous additive reasons of why the idea is trash as opposed to just a "bad idea."
    3b. Person's idea is derailed by a "troll post," usually with an image or a quick one-liner that adds nothing to the meat of the idea.

    4a. Idea suddenly degenerates into players trashing each others' ideas rather than offering polite responses - may or may not be started by one instigator, though replying players are also at fault for continuing the poor behavior.
    4b. Idea is washed away amidst the subsequent trolling and counter-trolling from other players, building up on these quips and filling the topic with pages of irrelevant content.

    So, I have to ask - What's causing this? The secondary trend is not so malicious, because someone will eventually steer the topic back on track, but the first is absolutely tasteless and does not belong in our community. This is a congregation of individuals here to enjoy our life away from life - almost a safe haven, if you will. Why taint paradise, metaphorically speaking?



  • I taught my karate students to train with an attitude of "taking care of one another". Even during intense fights this attitude was the core motivation of the combatants. Another way of looking at it is to say that we treated each other with respect.

    Neolithic is touching on something that I also have noticed. Each individuals motivations here are for the most part a mystery to me, but it boils down to this - on the forums and in game, there has been a deterioration of respect for other players. I see a lot of clever people using their wits to "one up" other players either in gameplay, or on the forums. I like to distill things down to their ultimate simplicity, so here's what it boils down to in my eyes - coa has a version of bullying manifesting itself in some of the players behavior. It's a shame really. There's no reason to attempt to humiliate someone on the forums because you don't agree with their ideas. You guys are scattered all over the world. I'm sure there are a lot of different cultures and backgrounds that you bring to the table. Respect is absolutely universal regardless of where your from. Show your fellow players some respect and all of the little problems that people are griping about on coa will disappear.

    Sensei



  • Removed for double post



  • @Neolithic:

    … said stuff ...

    I believe the reason is that some either 1) do not to see things form other perspective than their own and therefore believe anyone with a different opinion is wrong or 2) hope that by being rude and angry they will make sure no one tries to change anything they like again.

    All would be so much better if all just accepted that there is always several aspects to consider and that your own perspective may be different from others perspective. I have myself been guilty of 1) above but I try hard to avoid it by actaully look back at why I want a certain change or whatnot.



  • [grunts with approval]



  • So, I have to ask - What's causing this?

    Half-hearted moderation, imho.
    We all have our shitty moments. Sometimes we're pissed about something in game or in RL. Want to lash out. In RL we try to stay civil cause we know that we will start losing friends if we act like assholes. Bad sports are eventually ostracized. Same way people should instantly get temporary bans if they trash others here or on IRC.



  • Based on me own experience, it is good to have a few people with whom you consult your ideas with. As a rule of thumb, anything that is shown to the "Internet" is bound to be thrashed or mercilessly trolled, eventually.

    As to people having bad days, and "thrashing" something on the forums, it is little to no excuse. If you are angry you don't reach for the bottle and throw it. You get a good night's sleep or do something relaxing.

    Some people are being asses, because they can. The sort of people who give one or zero stars or score in online reviews, without giving a real explanation. Can you blame them? You are anonymous, nobody knows who you are. If we did… Well, real life would be even tougher on ya.



  • I dont think its a matter of moderation, not everything can or should be solved by moderation. Some players are taking each other ideas too personaly, and the best answer to that would be not to instigate, not answer, and not giving attention to this kind of behavior. Imo that would make them reflect on their actions, and realize their lack of maturity way more than DMs action.. Punishment by itself cannot change the general habit of a community, this is very clear.

    And also, do we want DM moderating the forums to remove rubbish and trolling, or do we want them be answering questions, or IG doing something fun?



  • I learned staying out of uninteresting things helps also. I used to do it (Try to trol allot) now I don not do it anymore, because I realy know it's annoying. Possibility for others to want attention is optional as well as the fact that they just hate the particular guy\womaneven though they do not know each other.

    Trying to help solve the troll\trash problem. If everyone would stop, it would be apreciated by everyone I think. To bad some aren't social thinking persons(proof? this still occurs).

    Agreed with the part that says go into RL and do something relaxing to calm down.



  • People by nature are opinionated. They accept evidence that fits into their world view and they reject evidence that would suggest their view of the world has some falsehoods. Some vehemently.

    People also in general suck. I think there are a fair amount of exceptions within this community, but that doesn't change the fact we are who we are (And not everyone can get along).

    So yeah, some people are malicious. It forgoes all sense of logic that people choose to do this, but they do. It's somewhat out of anyone's hands. And if it's something that can't be controlled, it might as well be accepted. Not condoned, but expected.


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