Twilight Explained
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This is pure WIN.
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That gave me a chuckle.
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The best explanation I'd heard was as follows. "Twilight is the story of a young girls decision between necrophilia and bestiality."
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@Bolthor:
The best explanation I'd heard was as follows. "Twilight is the story of a young girls decision between necrophilia and bestiality."
Truth be told, I liked ED's summary. NSFW language, writing in small text:
Twilight, Twat-light, The Super Gay Adventures of Sparkles the Vampire, The Worst Book Ever Written or Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction, along with its cash-cow sequels New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn are a four novel long, vampire romance series that appeals to the tiny minds of 16 year old girls and represent in their entirety some of the worst and most fucking abysmal "literature" ever conceived of.
Full of one-dimensional characters and completely devoid of originality, the series is comparable to reading the scribblings and shit stains of an epileptic downie coloring while a strobe light is being shone in its face. Avoid reading it at all costs.
The book series is easily the worst thing to hit the werewolf genre since furries, and the worst thing to happen to vampires ever. The entire series of books and movies has no redeeming value to speak of as either literature or cinema, and should be avoided like The Black Plague.
If you want to know just how horrible Twilight is, it's worse than Tara Gilesbie's masterpiece My Immortal, because My Immortal was funny. Twilight just makes small children cry. The maddening thing is that Twilight isn't rotting on fanfiction.net like it should be, but making shitloads of cash which funds its author's lard ass with twinkies and ho ho's. The author is listed in Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People for catering to the fantasies of 16 year old girls who wouldn't know a good book if it raped them in the ass. Twilight also supports pedophilia, necrophilia, and bestiality.
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The description Forte posted couldn't do more justice…
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Epic.
Don't laugh too hard though, Twilight fangirls are fucking crazy. They'll get you.
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Sad thing is I really read every last one of these books, way before the movie was even being imagined (or at least heard of). I read them because my sister, who inspired me to read Harry Potter which is my favorite book series ever, told me how epic Twilight was. Sidenote: I don't care if Harry Potter is young and unoriginal and even predictable, the universe the author created in my imagination is the SHIT.
As for Twilight and the other 3 pieces of shit. It took me probably 24 total hours (not at once, omg) to read through and I honestly wish I had those 24 hours back to do even the absolute worst mundane things I can think of.. like work, or something. Though it was kinda worth it just to know what everyone's fussing about, it still made my brain bleed and I think I might like hotdogs more now. :shock:
Also, the description Forte posted is right. This effing book really does dabble with necrophilia, beastiality, and freakin' child molestation! WTF
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Sadly, I too read them… Granted I only read them because a girl I liked suggested it. She proceeded to totally diss me and marry some guy ten years older than her. Here I was thinking I deserved some naked time.
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luv u werepig! ><
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@petey512:
Sadly, I too read them… Granted I only read them because a girl I liked suggested it. She proceeded to totally diss me and marry some guy ten years older than her. Here I was thinking I deserved some naked time.
Oh, that was you?
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Blade is the best character in recent vampire culture that I am aware of. And the girl was wayyy more hott. Now I shall kill this thread with a link from Encyclopedia Dramatica which is definitaly NSFW but equally harlious. http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Twilight
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Blade is the best character in recent vampire culture that I am aware of.
Be more aware -
Blade is the best character in recent vampire culture that I am aware of.
Be more awareI'm totally amused by the serious reply to "vampire culture".
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honestly I didn't watch Blade because it was a vampire movie, I watched it because it was a movie that concidently happened to be about vampires and kicked ass :)
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Why reply to DonD? He is like…one of those people...
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You just did Brock
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My favorite Vampire character has to be Victor from the Underworld series. Played by Bill Nighy.
Cruel, ruthless and utterly evil. He did terrible things to protect his family and people. Yet had a soft spot for his girls, a weakness that was ultimately his undoing. Ironic his few moments of mercy were to bring him down in the end.
As bad as he was you could see he was doing what was nessasary for his people to survive.
Oh and ive never watched any of the Twilight movies.
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Blade is the best character in recent vampire culture that I am aware of.
Be more awareWhat is this? Do they have it in English? I really want to know.
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The english title is Let The Right One In. I saw it in the cinema in the original swedish with english subtitles. I believe, however, the DVD might have english dubbed audio as well. Also it is being remade as an english language film, Let Me In, scheduled for release in the autumn this year.