Heart Diary



  • [A long flourish of the quill]

    Month 4, Day 27.

    I have decided to write a diary to work on the kinks in my mind. A failed test led to doubt and confusion. I long to join the Summer Court, and work towards the benefit of life. Yet, some part of me remains cunning, cold, and calculating to those that would stand in my way. A nymph told me my heart lie elsewhere, and called me a Winter Child, even though my intentions were pure. Pure enough, at least. My heart has always striven to be like my mother; she was a Sylvan druid, keeper of the forests. Yet, my father's upbringing of the strict, calculating wizard still rings in my head.

    My mother often took me for walks and patrols in the forest, where she taught me about the lay of the land, and my ties to the Sidhe. They were what I looked forward to the most, when I was little. The wildlife, the sweet berries I can still taste to this day, the aroma of exotic flowers. Her garden, tended by a pixie, hidden away from prying eyes, were where I would always sneak to when I was avoiding my father's gaze and wrath.

    My father, on the other hand, was the stick to my mother's carrot. Cruel, conniving, strict. He grained into me his teachings, about how to use my head first, and to eliminate troubles at their roots, even before they have had the chance to grow. How they ever fell in love is beyond me, but such is the mystery of life. When not spending time with my mother, I was glued to his arcane study, pondering and testing the limits of my arcane bloodline. I inherited a strange mix of bloodline from them both, much to my mother's delight and my father's dismay. He wanted me to inherit his skill and knowledge. I'm not suited to that sort of thing. So instead it led to harsh lessons where there was much guesswork about the strange tie to the Feywilds that flowed in my veins.

    For a long time now, as long as I can remember that I have been in Arabel, I have worked towards joining the Summer Court, to serve as a paragon of life, and help protect those of the city and forests from the dangers that lurk beyond and the Unseelie. I've spent plenty of time hunting Unseelie, saving those that need saving, and working to the benefit of all. Perhaps I've slewn a few necromancers, tieflings, and other foul-doers, but without them gone a lot more would have perished. I've gathered offerings, done tasks, fought the Winter Court, and protected the Summer lands.

    I decided I would band with a few companions and lead a delegation to give offerings and try to join the Summer Court. I led them to the Summer Grove and the Fairy ring within the King's Forest, south of Arabel. After making a lot of noise and merriment, a Nymph guarded by two Satyrs arrived. They accepted my offerings, then asked me to prepare a companion of mine for a sacrifice. While I thought it was a test, it was a very odd request coming from Summer fey. Plus, the three of them were fairly weak. For a meeting with some powerful people, I thought they'd be more prepared. It didn't sit right, so I prepared my own test for their test. I do need to apologize to the one I roughed up, but I hope he will understand. Thinking they may have been changelings of the Winter Court, yet not convinced so I hadn't attacked them, I roughed my companion up, and readied spells to deal with them if they made one step forward.

    They didn't, and instead were quite disappointed. At least I confirmed that they were of the Summer Court. Perhaps my methods were too cunning, but are fey not cunning and tricky by nature? They wanted me to throw all of that away. Perhaps I can. Perhaps I cannot. Raryldur convinced them that I am faithful to the cause of the Seelie, so they are going to test me three more times. If I can forget my father's teachings ironed onto my brain, and embrace the nurturing side of my mother's heart, I may be able to join the Summer Court as I have been longing to.

    I will write more, when more is there to say.

    Beilla