Fan Mail to the Militia Tower

  • A slough of letters, all marked with important wax seals and urgent messages on the outside envelopes or rolled up scrolls arrive at the Militia Tower to be opened and sorted accordingly.
    Almost all of them are inane fan-mail to Private Tallstag, dressed up to look important so they'd HAVE to be checked.

    A few of them were filled with glitter, that would pour out upon being opened.

    They read similarly to the following:

    To Private Randall Tallstag,

    I can't believe I'm writing this, I'm sure you get letters like these all the time, but I think that the way you wear your uniform, hold that crossbow - but show off your face is just amazing. You look absolutely gorgeous and I've fantasized about being brought into the office just so you could process me.

    I was sorry to hear about your brother, and hope you managed to reconcile a bit, even if he was a follower of the Mad God. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Your biggest fan,
    Sally Summers.

  • My real fans know Cleon wasn’t my brother. Stop sending me letters, imposter!