Character Analysis, by acemv
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The BG Continuum
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Maureen Juxtaposition, to be fair, is better applied as E-girl Juxtaposition. Maureen just happens to do it the best.
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The Hinty Hiccup.
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Haer'Dalis Hypothesis is a personal favorite. Otherwise known as Hedge Magic F*** Up
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The Golw Trick aka The Golw Gamble
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Koririn Paradox.
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The Olouth Conjecture.
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"The Verk Violation"
.
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The Vane "Wild Wild" West Vision.
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The Forte Facade.
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the Sickly Sucker Punch. The less sinister, but no less frustrating, version is called the Dire Wolf Dickery.
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The Geek Goodly Garden.
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The Gurmbach-Rav Equilibrium.
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The Stripper Social Deficiency Order.
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The Relonor Reduction.
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The Vorpal Wabsy.
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Please, dear people, bear in mind - I did not write these analyses; I merely transcribed them from acemv's rantings on IRC. All complaints and compliments should be directed to him.
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The Relonor Resentment.
1. Character is made, joins or is already part of prominent faction.
2. Character finds perks of faction life welcoming. Enjoyable time. Thinks faction awesome.
3.Sudden development, character finds interest in opposite gender.
4. Initiate contact.
5. Realizes belatedly despite perks chosen faction has no sex appeal.
6. Tries to remedy with "aura of mystery"; succeeds only in further alienating target.
7. Lapse into bitterness as target is snatched away by far less intelligent character, or lesbian.
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I see Maureen is trolling again
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The Misanthrope Miscalculation
1. Character is made. Often with dark, brooding past and persona. Frequently evil.
2. Dons garments of black, stalks the streets in attempt to appear menacing.
3. Startling discovery, instead of taking hint at spiky black armor and giant greataxe to leave alone in peace, chatty characters begin to gravitate towards him.
4. Efforts to ward off cheerful people with death threats and various angry
expressions only result in giggles.
5. Situation escalates. Characters of opposite - sometimes same (more likely if both female) - gender begins to try and flirt. Exasperation becomes frustration.
6. Patience snaps, "F.D." switch turned on; last expression of victim is often "seductive" (see: nauseating) wink.
7. Suddenly popularity plummets for no apparent reason; baffling.
8. Gank squads formed, either dead within week, or survives, only to leave city in search of greener pastures.
9. Miscalculation realized (often while making snow angels in Fugue Plane): dark and brooding attracts attention, consideration of standard issue evil disguise being changed to pink floral dress.
