Song Parodies Thread



  • Something quick I whipped up.

    Original song: 10cc - Rubber Bullets, Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dTnvhGHDGA

    Tribute to Steelhand.

    I went to a party at the local Militia jail
    All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
    But the slines were indiscreet
    They were brawling in the street
    At the local dance at the local Militia jail

    Well the band were playing
    And the booze began to flow
    But the sound came over on the sending system
    Up at North Arabel
    Having a stink-cloud of a time
    Sergeant Steelhand got a sending from the Warden of the Militia jail

    Load up, load up, load up with wood batons
    Load up, load up, load up with wood batons

    I love to hear those slines squeal
    It's a shame these clubs ain't steel
    But we can't have dancin' at the local Militia jail

    Sergeant Steelhand and his men made a bee-line for the jail
    And for miles around
    You could hear the lookouts wail
    There's a rumor goin' round Legion row
    That an alchemist keg is gonna blow
    At the local hop at the local Militia jail

    Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
    Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do

    Sergeant Steelhand started talkin'
    With a morningstar in his hand
    He was cool, he was clear
    He was always in command
    He said "Blood will flow;
    Here Benna
    Benna you talk to your boys…"
    "Trust in me -
    Bane will not let you go free"

    Well we don't understand
    Why you called in the City Guard
    When Lord Hardcastle is the one
    Who belongs in the exercise yard
    We all got balls and brains
    But some's got balls and chains
    At the local dance at the local Militia jail

    Load up, load up, load up with wood batons
    Load up, load up, load up with wood batons

    Is it really such a crime
    For a guy to spend his time
    At the local dance at the local Militia jail
    At the local dance at the local Militia jail

    Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
    Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do



  • An older one. Original song: Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_ ... h+criminal

    Context is Dracor Thunderaxe (v3 char) being taken down by an assassin NPC.

    As he came into the city
    It was the sound of a crescendo
    They came into his room
    They left the bloodstains on the carpet
    He ran underneath the table
    They could see he was unable
    So he ran into the bedroom
    He was beat down, it was his doom

    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok, Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok, Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok, Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok, are you ok, Dracor

    (Dracor are you ok)
    (will you tell us that youre ok)
    (theres a sign in the window)
    (that they struck you-a crescendo Dracor)
    (they came into your apartment)
    (they left the bloodstains on the carpet)
    (then you ran into the bedroom)
    (you were struck down)
    (it was your doom)

    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Youve been hit by
    Youve been hit by-
    A Black Hound

    So they came into the outway
    It was Friday-what a black day
    Mouth to mouth resus-citation
    Sounding heartbeats-intimidations

    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor
    Dracor are you ok
    So, Dracor are you ok
    Are you ok Dracor

    (Dracor are you ok)
    (will you tell us that youre ok)
    (theres a sign in the window)
    (that he struck you-a crescendo Dracor)
    (they came into your apartment)
    (they left the bloodstains on the carpet)
    (then you ran into the bedroom)
    (you were struck down)
    (it was your doom)

    (Dracor are you ok)
    (so, Dracor are you ok)
    (are you ok Dracor)
    (youve been hit by)
    (youve been struck by-
    A Black Hound)

    Okay, I want everybody
    To clear the area right now!

    Aaow!
    (Dracor are you ok)
    I dont know!
    (will you tell us, that youre ok)
    I dont know!
    (theres a sign in the window)
    I dont know!
    (that he struck you-a crescendo Dracor)
    I dont know!
    (they came into your apartment)
    I dont know!
    (left bloodstains on the carpet)
    I dont know why baby!
    (then you ran into the bedroom)
    I dont know!
    (you were struck down)
    (it was your doom-Dracor!)
    (Dracor are you ok)
    Dad gone it-baby!
    (will you tell us, that youre ok)
    Dad gone it-baby!
    (theres a sign in the window)
    Dad gone it-baby!
    (that they struck you-a crescendo Dracor)
    Hoo! hoo!
    (they came into your apartment)
    Dad gone it!
    (left bloodstains on the carpet)
    Hoo! hoo! hoo!
    (then you ran into the bedroom)
    Dad gone it!
    (you were struck down)
    (it was your doom-Dracor!)
    Aaow!!!



  • Here's some from 2008 by my char Lily Ravenlocks (openly worshipping Beshaban in Tymora's city for those who didnt know her)
    All were actually sung in game, as marching songs while travelling, in the TiredTraveler, etc
    Most made up on the spot for a verse or two, then expanded…
    This one was about Amelia Ironfales.
    To the tune of "Cinnamon Girl"

    I wanna live with a DeSchurran girl
    I could be happy the rest of my life
    With a DeSchurran girl.

    Duels without ending, and street corner fights
    You see her insulting, all through the nights
    My DeSchurran girl.

    Ten silver fines now, or jailtime instead
    The victim relaxes, he's comfy in bed
    My DeSchurran girl.

    A Halforc grunts heavy, he's tempers all stoked
    The green armor loses, all crumpled and broked
    My DeSchurran girl.

    Lord paid the parole
    then give her the roll
    Too bad she's now gone
    My DeSchurran girl.

    This one was about "Scar" the dwarf, in good nature, as she was a friend of his. or at least as much as she could have a friend.
    To the tune of Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart"

    Move yourself
    Away from me you go
    Never thinking of the others
    Move yourself
    You have a stink you made
    Take your stench and go out further

    Smell yourself
    You smell so putrid now
    You are through with any lasses

    Shake - shake yourself
    I think a poo is hanging
    So the pooplet falls!

    Owner of a putrid fart
    Owner of a putrid fart
    Much better than a
    Wearer of a wet bottom
    Owner of a silent fart

    Say - you don’t want to chance it
    Youv'e had leak outs before this

    Watch it now
    The ale was really bad
    Kesterby sold you a sausage
    You - lose yourself
    No not right here by me
    Theres no real reason you cant hold it
    Get away
    Pass gas away from me
    Don’t want to smell your odor

    Owner of a putrid fart
    Owner of a putrid fart
    Much better than a
    Wearer of a wet bottom
    Owner of a silent fart

    Next, we go back on the caustic badnwagon about someone we dont like
    Ginny, the potion making Fezzie gets slammed to the tune of "Brandy"

    There's a inn, on a crowded street
    And it's full, of those who'd cheat
    Lonely swordsmen, with tales so sweet
    They brag into their bowls

    And there's a girl on this crowded road
    And she's got a most noble code
    They say "Ginny, fetch another round"
    She makes them potions so fine

    Ginny, she's a wizardess,
    and she's not at all ambigous
    Wants to find, yeah, "Big and dangerous"
    She likes her men real tough

    She's got,yeah, two long lists you see
    one of Black, the other's Golden glee
    Black ones bad, no matter how they plea
    No potions will they see

    She seeks a group, intends nobility
    Needs to test, her old fertility
    Perhaps a man she'll someday find
    who'll be of tormite mind

    He came on a summer's day
    Bringin' gifts from far away
    But he made it clear he couldn't stay
    No ale-wife was his goal

    Yeah, Ginny used to watch his crotch
    When he told his swordsman stories
    She could feel her fever rising
    She felt up her ragin' glory
    But he had always misled her, Gods, he was a horny man
    And Ginny does her best to understand

    At night when the inns close down
    Ginny walks through a silent town
    And loves a man who's not around
    She still can hear his words

    She hears him say " "Ginny, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
    "What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
    "But tonight, just come and be with, be with me"

    Another person Lillibeth truly enjoyed was Sergeant Rosewood.
    Deep Purple's Strange Kind of Woman, COA-icized

    There once was a sergeant
    A strange kind of sergeant
    The kind that gets written down in history
    Her name was Rosie
    Her tush was kinda posin'
    She took a copper coin to show her mystery

    I paid her
    Everybody paid her
    She took a copper coin and off the armor came
    I tried to dress her
    I even tried to bless her
    She said I'm not gonever be a girl with fame

    She wants you, she needs you, she's deep in your pocket
    She'll take your money and dance for your turn
    She wants you, she needs you, she's deep in your pocket
    Ohh, she's a strange kind of sergeant

    She looks away for gold
    depending who you rolled
    For Slum patrolling boy you can't go wrong
    I couldn't pay her
    But a little cut she said
    Drunken bums from now on baby your my star

    She finally got promoted
    We partied in a hurry
    No more nosy Sir Knight in the way
    Im dreaming
    the cons are scheming
    no one now and she's in all our pay

    She wants you, she needs you, she's deep in your pocket
    She'll take your money and dance for your turn
    She wants you, she needs you, she's deep in your pocket
    Ohh, she's a strange kind of sergeant

    Rosiwood got tired
    so much gold acquired
    She turned on her old pay off boys
    The Warden didnt like it
    Rosie went and she quit
    Found some half orc men who could be her new toys

    She had you, she took you, she woulda mistook you
    She took your money and she beat your kin
    She had you, she took you, she woulda mistook you
    Ohh, she was a strange kinda sergeant

    Can't forget how Lillibeth loved all things Tymoran.
    CCR helped out with the melody to "Down on the corner"

    Early in the evenin just about supper time,
    Over by the East Shrine they're starting to be blind.
    Parner's got some troubles, he's asking for your help

    Chorus:
    Down on the corner, out in the street,
    Something evil going on,
    Seems Luck's fallen off her feet.

    Funny things a-coming, out of the hidden crypt
    Brave tormite a-standing, tymorans have all slipped
    Wonder how it happened, without a clue above

    Chorus:
    Down on the corner, out in the street,
    Something evil going on,
    Seems Luck's fallen off her feet.

    Bodies carried outside, chewed upon they was
    Eating peoples innards, Undead is all the buzz
    Only left to wonder, just whoall got the plunder

    Down on the corner, out in the street,
    Something evil going on,
    Seems Luck's fallen off her feet.

    her "good friend" Morich didn't escape, thats because he got caught in the web of "Boris the Spider"

    Look, he's running to and fro
    watch him now it's quite a show
    Now he's down in Slums bar brawl
    if he fights perhaps he'll crawl

    Morich the strider
    Morich the strider

    Now he's run out to the west
    Lady Lhal puts out the best
    Maybe he's as sure as me
    Where's he gone now, I can't see

    Morich the hider
    Morich the hider

    squeaky creaky
    squeaky creaky
    squeaky squeaky creaky creaky
    squeaky squeaky creaky creaky
    squeaky squeaky creaky creaky
    squeaky squeaky creaky creaky

    Wonder if he thinks at all
    Always running to a call
    Make some time for Rosiewood
    Catch a bug he probly would

    Morich the rider
    Morich the rider

    There he is on Fezznick ground
    Looking for a boy that drowned
    kick him down into the well
    Quick before he tries to yell

    Morich the cider
    Morich the cider

    mushy wushy
    mushy wushy
    mushy mushy wushy wushy
    mushy mushy wushy wushy
    mushy mushy wushy wushy
    mushy mushy wushy wushy

    He's come to a brand new low
    Nothing left besides a toe
    Never more will Morich crawl
    Rosie needs another thrall

    Morich insider
    This is all the song I penned
    And now I fear its at the end

    and for her dearest of dears, Luckbringer Evie. I still remember the hilarious times of two
    non-combat-build priest trying to beat the crap out of each other over and over.
    Typically with a militia man showing up to get a story like "I fell" "yeah, she fell… and I fell while watching her fall"
    This was a original, can't give you a idea of the melody, but i think the rythm is obvious.

    Evelyn, Evelyn
    full of sin, full of sin

    born a twin, she couldn't win
    tries to sing, but it's just a din

    not so tall, burly's more her spin
    thick and strong, to the boy's chagrin

    strong and pointy, is her chin
    only been touched by her kissing kin

    get her mad, red will be her skin
    chase you out, way past even Flynn

    Evelyn's got a big rolling pin
    like's to smack people in the shin

    Jail's no stranger, she's oft within
    mostly for stabbing with a safety pin

    Cassie is her next of kin
    says that gin is a mortal sin

    one twin's happy with a grin
    other's been naughty well within

    kissing kin, soft is her skin
    Evie's been drinking, mortal sin

    Of course, every now and then, she tried to get on peoples good side, so she'd have possible allies, This was made to try and get in the good graces of some greenies. Half-orcs instead of half-CHerokees, thank you to Cher.

    Your momma, captured by a orcish tribe
    forced to serve them until she worked off her bribe

    Half breed ! how you learned to hate the word !
    Half breed ! how your clothes were always peed1

    Your father was a lowly orcish lout,
    of his misdeeds there never was no doubt

    Half breed ! never learned to read!
    Half breed ! you dont have no creed !

    Escaped from the tribe you ran away
    hid in the darkness, by the river clay

    Half Breed ! ashamed now of your seed!
    Half Breed ! run run away with speed !

    Sometimes songs were about life in general, as "ShiningStar's" melody shows

    When you drink within a bar
    Dreams won't take you very far,
    When you wish upon a dream
    Life ain´t always what it seems to be
    Once you see the lights not clear
    Yearning fear, so very dear

    You´ve got things to fear,no matter what the year
    Darkning cloud to hide Fate might be near
    your Fate might be near

    Storming cloud come into view
    Gloom is now all over you
    Saps your strength cant carry on
    Makes you weak just like a fawn

    Was your body big and strong?
    Born a man-child of the sun?
    Doom's respect was never won
    Now your Fate has just begun

    You´ve got things to fear,no matter what the year
    Darkning cloud to hide Fate might be near
    your Fate might be near

    So if you find yourself in need
    Why don´t you listen to the words of heed
    Offer up the Maid's single wish
    give to her wine in a dish

    You´ve got things to fear,no matter what the year
    Darkning cloud to hide Fate might be near
    your Fate might be near

    Darkning cloud around your kin, what could your life have only been?
    Darkning cloud around your kin, what could your life have only been?

    Lily didn't just hate the Good n Lucky. Those who put faith in anything, thinking to be taken care of and not experience bad luck would be targets too.
    Like Banites.

    when banites go running home again
    hurrah hurrah
    We'll give them some fresh tomatoes then
    hurrah hurrah

    Oh the girls will jeer and the boys run out
    the ladies all will joke a lot
    And we'll spit all day
    When the banites go running home

    The old town bell will peal with joy
    hurrah hurrah
    To send off all the cowards, oi
    hurrah hurrah

    The triad lads and dwarven say
    With banite bones they'll strew the way
    and we'll spit all day
    When the banites go running home

    Be wary of tymoran claims
    hurrah hurrah
    they'll want to say they won the games
    ha ha ha ha

    The Banites surely needed luck
    hurrah hurrah
    At Tymora's breast they did suck
    uh huh uh huh

    The Triad came and cleaned their clock
    hurrah hurrah
    With Tempus wrath they were struck
    hurrah hurrah

    and we spat all day
    when the Banites went running home

    And of course, as usual, there was always a movement of sorts to aid the Poor in the slums. Lily, being a dutiful and caring
    member of society, joined the movement, and pushed forward the notion of the "Slums Fair", being sure it had plenty of rich meats as a example of what the wealthy ate, and
    as the poor might not even have utensils, plenty of knives to cut the meat, clubs and staves to burn for firewood, and so on.
    And had rousing entertainment planed - goblin fights and some songs to set a gentle peaceful mood:

    1:

    Here in the wayward slums,
    alas, i know you'r mostly bums

    yet we are here to help
    for the rich do hear when you yelp

    We know the pain in your gums
    and the ache you feel in your thumbs

    Though they are a mighty Lord,
    They truly so feel a chord

    and here, in your city ward
    he sends gestures to Caelis his mighty sword

    for it is one of you, yes, your chums
    that his men wish to truly becomes

    remember when you lie in dirt
    and your stomach only feels a hurt

    That lord fezznick truly cares
    and sends to you many prayers

    A poor girl, long of hair
    Many a day, she would send up prayer

    yet in the dirt she sat and spun
    her daily work was never done

    she saw the rich, with wine so fine
    And she broke her bread, but alas, no spread

    she prayed for milk, for the well was dry
    Yet not a single noble did meet her eye

    she asked for alms, she sold herself.
    yet nothing for her, an empty shelf

    The rich did pass, without a glance
    she gave up then, and had no chance

    a well she found, the bottom bare
    and into it, she jump. Its now her lair

    For death she found, her doom all done
    because rich man's gaze was never won.

    And now you see, the rich step forward
    to walk as poor girl, all straigthforward

    Yet when their hours done, to Pride they turn
    yet slumsgirl fate will always burn

    There would have been more, but poor Lily met a early end…..
    hmm. Maybe i ought to send them in as a songbook to the library...



  • Since the only guard in v3 named Rosewood was my own char, small correction: She wasn't promoted to Sergeant, but instead was transferred to Purple Dragons.


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